Funny bread jokes

How did that avocado baker make bread?

Answer: With avoca-dough.

How did the hipster burn his mouth?

Answer: He ate garlic bread long before it was cool.

How do you introduce a loaf of bread to your angry aunt?

Answer: Meatloaf croissant

How do you kill a gluten free Vampire?

Answer: Garlic bread

How do you make a bread roll?

Answer: Push it down a hill.

How do you make dog bread?

Answer: Just use collie flour.

How does bread win over friends?

Answer: You can crust me.

How does bread woo a lover?

Answer: With lots of flours.

What did mama bread say to her kids?

Answer: It’s way past your breadtime!

What did one bread lover say to the other?

Answer: Before I break down and rye, I want you to know that I loaf you.

What did one slice of bread say to the other at their wedding?

Answer: Let’s grow mold together.

What did one slice of bread say to the other before the race?

Answer: You’re toast!

What did one slice of bread say to the other slice of bread when he saw some butter and jam on the table?

Answer: We're toast!

What did the banana say to the bread?

Answer: Nothing! Bananas don’t talk!

What did the banker want from the baker?

Answer: To pump her nickels.

What did the butter say to the bread?

Answer: I'm on a roll!

What direction did the pirate go to get his bread?

Answer: Yeast!

What do bakers make dill bread from?

Answer: Dill dough

What do bread kids say during hide-and-seek?

Answer: Bready or not, here I crumb!

What do breads do in the morning?

Answer: Rise and shine

What do cloves use for money?

Answer: Garlic "bread"

What do you call someone who has been raised by garlic?

Answer: Garlic bred

What do you get when you cross bread with a pair of shoes?

Answer: Loafers

What does a loaf of bread say when breaking up with his girlfriend?

Answer: You deserve butter.

What does bread say to a friend after doing them a favor?

Answer: It’s the yeast I could do.

What does Homer Simpson use to make bread?

Answer: D'oh!

What happened to the robber who robbed a bakery?

Answer: He got caught BREAD handed!

What is a unicorn's favorite Thanksgiving bread?

Answer: Corn bread!

What pick up line does yeast use on flour?

Answer: I bread your pardon!

What’s a ballerina’s favorite type of bread?

Answer: A bun

What’s a foodie’s favorite TV show?

Answer: Breaking Bread!

What’s the most popular video game at the bread bakery?

Answer: Knead for Speed.

What’s the worst thing about a bread pun?

Answer: It tends to get stale.

Who has the handsome star in the Hollywood baking movie?

Answer: Bread Pitt

Why are bread jokes always so funny?

Answer: They never get mold.

Why are hot dogs the weirdest dogs?

Answer: Because most of them are inbred

Why are pickles in sandwiches so polite?

Answer: They’re well bread!

Why couldn’t the baker buy more bread?

Answer: Because he didn’t have enough dough!

Why did bread break up with margarine?

Answer: For a butter lover.

Why did the bread cross the road?

Answer: To BUTTER the other side!

Why did the bread maker go to jail?

Answer: She was caught beating an egg.

Why did the bread maker take a second job?

Answer: She wanted to make some extra dough.

Why do all hot dogs look the same after coming off the grill?

Answer: Because they are in bread.

Why does bread hate hot weather?

Answer: It just feels too toasty.

Why does bread hate summer weather?

Answer: Because summer heat can get too toasty.

Why does bread like warmer weather?

Answer: It gets toasty!

Why doesn't bread like warm weather?

Answer: Things get Toasty!

Why was the bread actor so unhappy?

Answer: She lost out on a juicy roll.

Why was the chef surprised that anyone like her bread?

Answer: She thought it was crumby.

Why was the loaf of bread upset?

Answer: His plan were always going a rye.

Why was the slice of bread upset with her husband?

Answer: He told her she was being too kneady.