Funny animal jokes

A monkey, chimp, gorilla and King Kong tries to take bananas from a coconut tree. Who will get it?

Show answer

Answer: Neither! Coconut trees don't grow bananas!

A papa mole, a mama mole, and a baby mole all live together in a little mole hole.

One day, papa mole sticks his head out of the hole, sniffs the air, and says, “Yummy, I smell maple syrup.”

The mama mole sticks her head out of the hole, snifl’s the air, and says, “Oh yummy, I smell honey.”

Now baby mole is trying to stick his head out of the hole to sniff the air, but can’t because the bigger moles are in the way.

This makes him whine, “Geez, all I can smell is moleasses.”

A: Why do elephants wear blue shoes?
B: Why?
A: So they can hide in blueberry bushes.
B: Oh.
A: Have you ever seen an elephant in a blueberry bush?
B: Well, no.
A: Then it works!

Did you hear the one about the dog who ate a bunch of garlic?

Answer: His bark was worse than his bite.

How can you tell the difference between a grape and an elephant?

Answer: Grapes are purple.

How do dogs make sandwiches?

Answer: With purebred.

How do you get your dog to like mashed potatoes?

Answer: You gravy train

How do you lead a horse to water?

Answer: With lots of carrots.

How do you make dog bread?

Answer: Just use collie flour.

How do you tell the difference between a walrus and an orange?

Answer: Put your arms around it and squeeze it. If you don't get orange juice, it's a walrus.

If apples come from an apple tree, and oranges come from an orange tree, where do chickens come from?

Answer: A pouI-tree.

Me: "I work with animals every day."
She: "Ohh, how sweet! What is it that you do?"
Me: "I'm a butcher."

Mommy, daddy and little lion are having a picnic.
As soon as they've taken seat on their blanket, little lion wants to start eating.
"Hold on," says daddy lion.
"We first need to prey."

What did the banana say to the monkey?

Answer: Nothing, bananas can't talk!