Here you will find great collection of corny, tasty and funny butcher jokes for all foodies, food lovers and anyone else who likes butchers. This funny collection of friendly and delicious jokes, riddles and puns about butcher are clean and safe for everyone. Share these butcher jokes and other food jokes with your friends so you can laugh out loud togheter!
A lawyer's dog, runs around town unleashed, heads for a butcher shop and steals a roast.
An angry butcher goes to the lawyer's office and politely asks, "If a dog running unleashed steals a piece of meat from my store, do I have a right to demand payment for the meat from the dog's owner?"
The lawyer smiles and answers , "Absolutely."
"Then you owe me $8.50. Your dog was unleashed and stole a roast from me today."
The lawyer, without a word, writes the butcher a check for $8.50.
The butcher, having a feeling of satisfaction, leaves.
Three days later, the butcher finds a bill from the lawyer: $100 due for a consultation.
How did the butcher introduce his wife?Answer: Meet Patty.
How do you call a masked man with a butcher knife in a corn field?Answer: A cereal killer.
I bet my butcher he couldn't reach the meat on the top shelf. He said he wasn't going to bet with me. He told me the steaks were too high.
I love being a butcher. It makes it easy to meat people.
Butcher your arms around me!
Me: "I work with animals every day."
She: "Ohh, how sweet! What is it that you do?"
Me: "I'm a butcher."
What did the butcher say to a ﬁrst-time customer?Answer: Nice meating you.
What did the butcher say to the cow?Answer: Let's beefriends.
What did the butcher say to the pig?Answer: Nice to meat you.
What did the man say to the butcher at the deli?Answer: I never sausage a place!
What do you call a butcher who has money in the stock market?Answer: A steak holder
What do you call a lazy butcher?Answer: A meatloafer.
What does a butcher call a cow on a hill?Answer: High Steaks
What happened when the butcher backed up into the meat grinder?Answer: He got a little behind in his work.
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