Funny turkey jokes

A lady was picking through the frozen turkeys at the grocery store for Thanksgiving Day, but couldn’t find one big enough for her family.

She asked a stock boy, “Do these turkeys get any bigger?”

“No, ma’am. They’re dead.”

A lady was picking through the frozen turkeys at the grocery store, but couldn't find one fresh enough for her family.

She asked the stock boy, "Don't you have fresh turkeys?"

The stock boy answered, "But they are all dead. Now how can I make them take a bath?"

Can a turkey jump higher than the Empire State Building?

Answer: Yes - a building can't jump at all.

How can you make a turkey float?

Answer: You need 2 scoops of ice cream, some root beer, and a turkey.

How many chefs does it take to stuff a turkey?

Answer: One, but you really have to cram him in there.

If a man wants to eat a turkey on Thanksgiving, what does a turkey want?

Answer: It simply wants to run away.

If fruit comes from a fruit tree, where does turkey come from?

Answer: A poul-tree.

Is turkey soup good for you?

Answer: Not if you're the turkey!

Knock, knock!
Who's there?
Annie.
Annie who?
Annie body seen the turkey?

Knock, knock!
Who's there?
Harry.
Harry who?
Harry up and finish carving the turkey, we're starving!

My family told me to stop telling Thanksgiving jokes, but I said I couldn't quit cold turkey

Should you have your whole family for Thanksgiving dinner?

Answer: No, you should just have the turkey!

The Turkey was bold and crossed the road. Why did he do that?

Answer: To demonstrate he wasn’t a chicken.

What did the little turkey say to the big turkey?

Answer: Peck on someone your own size!

What did the mama turkey say to her naughty son?

Answer: If your papa could see you now, he’d turn over in his gravy!

What did the mother turkey say to her disobedient children?

Answer: If your father could see you now, he'd turn over in his gravy!

What did the turkey say before it was roasted?

Answer: Boy! I'm stuffed!

What did the turkey say on Thanksgiving?

Answer: Real men eat beef!

What did the turkey say to the computer?

Answer: Google, google, google!

What did the turkey say to the turkey hunter?

Answer: Quack! Quack! Quack!

What do turkeys like to do on sunny days?

Answer: Have peck-nics!

What do you call a running turkey?

Answer: Fast food.

What do you call a turkey on the day after Thanksgiving?

Answer: Lucky!

What do you call an over-caffeinated turkey?

Answer: A per-key!

What do you get when you cross a turkey with an octopus?

Answer: Enough drumsticks for Thanksgiving.

What does an English turkey say to another English turkey on Thanksgiving morning?

Answer: To be or not to be roasted, that is the question.

What happened when the turkey got into a fight?

Answer: He got the stuffing knocked out of him!

What is a turkey’s favorite dessert?

Answer: Peach gobbler.

What is the difference between a chicken and a turkey?

Answer: Chickens celebrate Thanksgiving!

What is the most musical part of a turkey?

Answer: The drumsticks.

What key can't open doors no matter how hard you try?

Answer: Turkey

What key won't open any door?

Answer: A turkey.

What sound does a turkey's phone make?

Answer: Wing, wing, wing!

What two animals get stuffed on Thanksgiving?

Answer: Turkeys & people after Thanksgiving dinner.

What would you get if you crossed a turkey with a ghost?

Answer: A poultry-geist!

What's blue and covered in feathers?

Answer: A turkey holding its breath.

What's the best dance to do on Thanksgiving?

Answer: The turkey trot.

What's the best song to play while cooking a turkey?

Answer: All about that baste.

What's the best way to stuff a turkey?

Answer: Serve him lots of pizza and ice cream!

What's the best way to stuff a turkey?

Answer: Serve him lots of chocolate and ice cream.

What's the difference between a turkey and Def Leppard?

Answer: A turkey has two drumsticks.

What's the key to a great Thanksgiving dinner?

Answer: The turkey.

What's the universal key to a lovely Thanksgiving?

Answer: The turkey.

Which side of a turkey has the most feathers?

Answer: The outside!

Who doesn't eat on Thanksgiving?

Answer: A turkey, because it is always stuffed.

Who is not hungry at Thanksgiving?

Answer: The turkey because he's already stuffed!

Why are people in Arkansas having peanut butter and jelly for Thanksgiving this year?

Answer: Because they’re sending their turkey to the White House!

Why can't you take turkeys to church?

Answer: They use fowl language!

Why did the Chicken and Turkey audition for the band and were accepted?

Answer: They had drumsticks

Why did the cranberries turn red?

Answer: Because they saw the turkey dressing.

Why did the Pilgrims eat turkey on Thanksgiving?

Answer: They couldn't get the moose in the oven!

Why did the police arrest the turkey?

Answer: They suspected it of fowl play!

Why did the turkey join a band?

Answer: So he could use his drumsticks.

Why did the turkey play the drums in his band?

Answer: Because he already had drum sticks!

Why do turkeys always go, "gobble, gobble"?

Answer: Because they never learned good table manners!

Why do turkeys lay eggs?

Answer: Because if they dropped them, they would break.

Why don’t you put the turkey near the sweet potatoes?

Answer: Because it will gobble, gobble, gobble it up.

Why should you never set the turkey next to the desert?

Answer: Because he will gobble, gobble it up!

Why shouldn't you sit next to a turkey at dinner?

Answer: Because he will gobble it up.