Funny chef jokes

A Blonde went for a pizza. The chef said would you like it cut into 4 slices or 8? Blonde said 4 please.
There is no way I could possibly eat 8 slices.

At what age did the world's greatest sushi chef begin his training?

Answer: Tuna half.

Did that taco chef act rudely toward me?

Answer: Yeah, he was jalapeño business.

Did you ever hear about the mute Thai chef?

Answer: He could wok the wok but not talk the talk.

Did you hear about the Boston chef who died?

Answer: They could not find the sauce of his illness

Did you hear about the chef who spilled his herbs on the floor?

Answer: Cleaning it up was a massive waste of thyme.

Did you hear about the guy who took a second job as a pizza chef?

Answer: He kneaded the dough

Did you hear about the Italian chef who died?

Answer: He pasta way.

Did you heard about the Indian chef that fell down from the stairs?

Answer: He was curryed away to the hospital.

How did the pasta chef get locked out of his house?

Answer: He came home from work with gnocchi.

How do taco chefs live their lives?

Answer: By seasoning the moment!

How do you greet a Cypriot Chef?

Answer: Helloumi

How do you know if the head chef is a clown?

Answer: When the food tastes funny.

How do you know the Japanese mass murderer was a chef?

Answer: He spent his day cutting up vegetables

How do you say goodbye to an Italian chef?

Answer: Pasta la vista!

How does a chef get to work?

Answer: He woks.

How many chefs does it take to change a light bulb?

Answer: One to do it, and five others to tell him how they did it differently in their last kitchen.

How many chefs does it take to stuff a turkey?

Answer: One, but you really have to cram him in there.

How many pastry chefs does it take to make a pie?

Answer: 3.14

Jesus and Michelin Star chefs have one thing in common.
They can both feed 5,000 people with 2 loaves of bread and 5 fish.

My blond wife said she was a gourmet chef, I asked her to make ceviche.
She burned it.

The husband and the wife were having dinner at a fancy restaurant

A few minutes later, the dinner was served.

Husband: The food looks great. Let's eat.

Wife: But honey, you always say a prayer before eating at home.

Husband: That's at home, sweetie. I'm sure the chef here knows how to cook.

What are chefs always trying the win?

Answer: The Hunger Games.

What did the black guy say to the chef?

Answer: What Ja-maican?

What did the chef do with his laddle after he got his first paycheck?

Answer: He souped it up.

What did the chef say to the skeleton?

Answer: BONE Apetit!

What did the French chef give his wife for Valentine's Day?

Answer: A hug and a quiche!

What did the french chef say when the cheese factory exploded?

Answer: Looks like we have debris all over the place!

What did the Native American do after culinary school?

Answer: He became a Souix chef.

What did the pastry chef say to his boss to get a raise?

Answer: I knead dough

What did the pastry chef say to his unsupportive father?

Answer: Doughnut hole me back.

What did the pepperoni say to the cook?

Answer: You wanna pizza me?

What did the Taqueria chef say he did on vacation?

Answer: Taco bout what an awesome time he had!

What do chefs use to play pool?

Answer: Cue-cumbers

What do lousy chefs use to tell them when a roast is done?

Answer: A smoke detector.

What do passionate Indian chefs and functional programmers have in common when they are exhausted?

Answer: They curry on.

What do you call 2 chefs working together in the same kitchen?

Answer: Taste Buds

What do you call a chef with one eye?

Answer: Chief

What do you call a deep thinking pastry chef?

Answer: A filosopher

What do you call a religious chef?

Answer: A man of the broth

What do you call the European king who became a noodle chef?

Answer: Chowlemein

What do you get when you cross a lawyer with a cook?

Answer: A sue chef.

What does an Italian chef make in a Chinese restaurant?

Answer: Ciao Mein.

What does an upset chef make food with?

Answer: Angrydients

What is a chefs weapon of choice?

Answer: A salt rifle

What is the best paying job in the world?

Answer: I don’t know, but pizza chefs sure make a lot of dough

What is the chef's favorite thing to do?

Answer: Cut the cheese.

What music do chefs play in the kitchen?

Answer: Wok N Roll

What type of knife do chefs use to connect to Bluetooth?

Answer: A pairing knife

What's a chef's favourite drug?

Answer: Pot

What's worse than finding hair in your food?

Answer: Finding out the chef is bald.

Who is second in command in the kitchen at a Native American owned restaurant?

Answer: The Sioux chef

Why am I scared of french pastry chefs?

Answer: They give me the crepes.

Why are chefs cruel?

Answer: Because they batter fish, beat eggs and whip cream!

Why are chefs good lovers?

Answer: Because they understand the pan needs to be hot before putting their meat in

Why are cooks cruel?

Answer: Because they whip cream and beat eggs!

Why could the chef not cook a tree branch?

Answer: Because he used a non-stick pan.

Why did the chef add extra oregano to the sauce?

Answer: He was making up for lost thyme.

Why did the chef cover Pete with dough, sauce and pepperoni?

Answer: Because Pete’s a pan.

Why did the chef flip a pancake?

Answer: Because he was a tosser.

Why did the chef go to Las Vegas?

Answer: He wanted to whisk it all

Why did the chef make ham and pineapple wrap sandwiches?

Answer: That's just Hawaii rolls.

Why did the chef miss his deadline?

Answer: He ran out of thyme.

Why did the dwarf chef leave the restaurant?

Answer: Because the steaks were too high.

Why did the french chef go to the police?

Answer: Escargot stolen.

Why did the French chef quit working at the haunted restaurant?

Answer: He got crêped out.

Why did the Hipster Chef burn his tongue?

Answer: He ate his food before it was cool.

Why did the Iron Chef have to stop cooking?

Answer: He ran out of Thyme.

Why did the monster put the cook in a bowl?

Answer: He wanted a chef salad.

Why did the taco chef stop cooking?

Answer: He ran out of thyme.

Why is the chef so mean?

Answer: She beats the eggs!

Why should you never take financial advice from a chef?

Answer: They like to whisk it all.

Why was the chef fired?

Answer: He was caught stroganoff.

Why was the chef late to work?

Answer: He ran out of thyme

Why was the chef surprised that anyone like her bread?

Answer: She thought it was crumby.

Why was the Italian chef so stressed?

Answer: Because his job was in pasta bowl.

Why wouldn’t the Italian chef’s car start?

Answer: Because he had gnocchis.