Funny farmer jokes

What did the neurotic pig say to the farmer?

Answer: You take me for grunted.

What is a Happy Farmer’s favorite candy?

Answer: A Jolly Rancher.

What kind of things does a farmer talk about when he is milking cows?

Answer: Udder nonsense

What new crop did the farmer plant?

Answer: Beets me.

Where do farmers send their kids to grow?

Answer: Kinder-garden

Why can’t the bankrupt farmer complain?

Answer: Because he’s got no beef.

Why can’t you tell secrets in the farmer’s garden?

Answer: Because the corn has ears and the potatoes have eyes.

Why did the farmer feed his pigs a mixture of sugar, vinegar, and soy sauce?

Answer: He wanted sweet and sour pork.

Why did the farmer feed his pigs sugar and vinegar?

Answer: He wanted sweet and sour pork.

Why did the farmer hang raincoats all over his orchard?

Answer: Someone told him he should get an apple Mac.

Why did the pig kill the farmer?

Answer: To save his own bacon.

Why shouldn't you tell a secret on a farm?

Answer: Because the potatoes have eyes and the corn has ears.