A tough old sheep farmer from Scotland gave some good advice to his granddaughter. He told her that the secret to a long life was to sprinkle a pinch of gunpowder onto her porridge every morning. The grand-daughter followed this dictum religiously until her death at the venerable age of 103.
She left behind 14 children, 30 grandchildren, 45 great grandchildren, 25 great great grandchildren and a forty foot hole where the crematorium used to be.
Funny farmer jokes
Here you will find great collection of corny, tasty and funny farmer jokes for all foodies, food lovers and anyone else who likes farmers. This funny collection of friendly and delicious jokes, riddles and puns about farmer are clean and safe for everyone. Share these farmer jokes and other food jokes with your friends so you can laugh out loud together!
Did you hear about the poor herb farmer?Answer: He was always having to work over thyme.
Farmers are real experts, they are often outstanding in their fields.
Grain farmers have a tough life. They barley survive from wheat to wheat.
How did the farmer fix his jeans?Answer: With a cabbage patch!
How do farmers party?Answer: They turnip the beets.
How does a farmer mend his pants?Answer: With Cabbage patches.
If a parsley farmer is sued...could they garnish his wages?
They asked how the watermelon farmer felt after winning the lottery; clever bugger said he felt like a melon bucks.
What basic skill do herb farmers always struggle with?Answer: Thyme management
What did the egg say to the farmer?Answer: I’m too young to fry!
What did the farmer say when he lost all his vegetables?Answer: Oh, they'll turnip somewhere!
What did the farmer say when he lost one of his cows?Answer: What a miss-steak
What did the farmer say when his dog stole his corn?Answer: AW, shucks.
What did the Maple syrup farmer say when he saw a good looking maple tree?Answer: I'd tap that.
What did the neurotic pig say to the farmer?Answer: You take me for grunted.
What is a Happy Farmer’s favorite candy?Answer: A Jolly Rancher.
What kind of things does a farmer talk about when he is milking cows?Answer: Udder nonsense
What new crop did the farmer plant?Answer: Beets me.
Where do farmers send their kids to grow?Answer: Kinder-garden
Why can’t the bankrupt farmer complain?Answer: Because he’s got no beef.
Why can’t you tell secrets in the farmer’s garden?Answer: Because the corn has ears and the potatoes have eyes.
Why did the farmer feed his pigs a mixture of sugar, vinegar, and soy sauce?Answer: He wanted sweet and sour pork.
Why did the farmer feed his pigs sugar and vinegar?Answer: He wanted sweet and sour pork.
Why did the farmer hang raincoats all over his orchard?Answer: Someone told him he should get an apple Mac.
Why did the pig kill the farmer?Answer: To save his own bacon.
Why shouldn't you tell a secret on a farm?Answer: Because the potatoes have eyes and the corn has ears.
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